I am a very deep sleeper, and by very I mean I sleep like the dead.  It takes something really big or really loud to draw me out of my slumber…and even then, it’s not a guarantee I will actually wake up.  Because of this I can sleep just about anywhere on anything.  It’s wonderful.  Typically I can even sleep through earthquakes.  I tried to sleep through the Northridge quake but my mom wouldn’t let me…something about a bookcase falling on my head…  Anyway, the other thing that will cause me to bolt upright in bed is the wailing of a smoke alarm.

That’s what woke all three of us (Noah, me, the dog) at 2am this morning.  Horrible horrible way to find yourself suddenly awake — nothing like an impending house fire to get you out of bed in the morning.  The alarm only went off for a few seconds then stopped.  Noah clambered out of bed, checked out the house, saw that there was no fire, and we attempted to go back to sleep.  Ha!  Apparently inanimate objects also like to play April Fool’s pranks.  Just after we got comfortable, the alarm sounded again.  But only for a few seconds like the first time.  Noah went downstairs to get a ladder to take apart the stupid thing (yes yes, bad, blah blah blah).  As he ripped it from the ceiling the stupid thing started squelching again…but this time it wouldn’t shut up.  My fingers were in my ears, my poor dog was cowering beside me on the bed, and I kept thinking about the Friends episode where Phoebe beats her smoke detector with a shoe.  We were about to get to that point when Noah was finally able to eject the battery.

Perhaps I should mention that this is not just a regular smoke detector but also a carbon monoxide detector.  So now that the noise was over and we could attempt to fall back asleep not only was my mind running around with all sorts of possibilities about the roof being on fire (the “settling” of the house noises didn’t help any) but also the possibility of us dying in our sleep from carbon monoxide poisoning.   But, we have at least one other carbon monoxide detector in the house, so should our furnace be spewing poisonous gases into our air, we have that to fall back on.

But now, I have the ridiculously expensive carbon monoxide sensor/battery in my purse to go buy a new one at some point today.  I did happen to notice a bright orange sticker on the battery slot on the smoke alarm that said the detector should be replaced prior to 2004.  Interesting…

Regardless, I think if a battery is going to die on a smoke alarm it needs to be, say, between the hours and 6:00pm – 10:00pm.  That way I’m not in the middle of an already creepy dream (smoke detectors never go off when one is dreaming something pleasant) and won’t be so freaked out.  *grumbles*

**EDIT** Turns out our alarm was for carbon monoxide detection only.  It has since been replaced with a dual smoke/carbon monoxide detector that will not only wail an 85db alarm but will also speak either “fire”, “carbon monoxide” or “low battery”.  Genius.